Last night, my friend Lucy announced that she’s going to move to somewhere called Cinque Terre. It’s in the Italian Riviera apparently and it’s where she and her husband John have just spent ten blissful days on holiday.
‘You’d love it,’ she told me and two other friends over a bottle of wine, her tan still glowing. ‘It’s so beautiful... the sun, the coffee, the wine... even tomatoes taste like heaven over there.
‘And Italians really know how to live. What are we all doing here in the rain, in jobs we hate with mortgages we can’t afford?
'We’ve seen a place we could turn into a boutique hotel. John would cook and I would do the front-of-house stuff. You can all visit.’
It all sounds gorgeous, but I won’t book my flights yet.
Last year, Lucy wanted to quit her marketing job and move to Ibiza to start a yoga retreat; the year before that it was a cookery school in the South of France. Every year, she comes back from her summer holiday with radical plans to change her life. But don’t we all?
As my friends and I indulged in a post-holiday catch-up, we all waxed lyrical about our plans for the months ahead.
‘Well, you’re going to move to Italy and I’m going to buy a juicer. And go swimming three times a week. And go to the theatre,’ said Gemma.
‘I am going to start online dating and go on one date a week. I can’t cope with another summer of being single at weddings,’ said 38-year-old Jo. ‘And I’m going to join Weight Watchers again.’
It seems they’d come back with more than just a tan; they’d all brought a plan. Forget New Year’s resolutions — the ‘back to school’ feeling of September makes many of us vow to improve our lives.
I’ve been back from my Irish holiday for two minutes and I’ve already joined a gym, sent off for information about volunteering, ordered a meditation DVD from Amazon and opened a savings account — with a view to becoming a fitter, kinder, calmer and more solvent person.
There’s even a ‘September happy list’ that I’ve written stuck to my fridge. My goals range from the sublime (No 1: count your blessings every day, stop moaning) to the ridiculous (No 24: get teeth whitened, and No 26: throw out old underwear).
I never make resolutions in January, the coldest, wettest, poorest month. But every September I feel an optimism and vigour that says: ‘Anything’s possible!’
And I’m not alone. Diet groups, gyms, career advisers, volunteering charities and dating websites all report a surge in activity in September.
This time last year, more people signed up to volunteer at the Samaritans than during any other month.
And Nuffield Health gyms say that of all their new members who sign up in a year, 11 per cent do so in September, compared with 13 per cent in January.
‘September, and not January, is by far the more popular month to make changes in your life, such as starting a diet or starting therapy,’ says life coach Ali Campbell, author of Just Get On With It. ‘You’ve just got back from a long holiday. You’ve stepped out of the rat race, taken a deep breath and looked around you.
‘Then you come back from holiday and the contrast is stark when you go back to work. It’s such a jolt. It’s often a catalyst that makes people want to change.’
And with this comes the urge to fix every aspect of our lives: work, money, relationships and, of course, weight.
The bulges created by ice cream, pina coladas and holiday, teamed with the thought of Christmas parties to come, are enough to put many of us on a health kick.
Rob Beale, from David Lloyd gyms, says: ‘September is always one of our busiest times of year for memberships as people have often come back from their holiday, having reflected on their life and often having overindulged. What’s more, it’s just 15 weeks until Christmas — in part, it’s preparation for then.’
Our jobs are the next thing we want to change. There’s nothing like the hell of that first day back at work to make you wonder what you’re doing with your life.
‘I see a huge increase in the numbers of people contacting me in September about changing roles and even changing their career completely,’ says career coach Hannah McNamara.
‘People spent time away from their job, realised there’s more to life — and how unhappy they are at work — and then want to make a change. What they’re looking for is a job that allows them to have a life outside work. Especially if they have a family.’
September is also a good time for many of us to sort out our finances. It’s not as bleak as January, when the credit card bill is so dire it’s too terrifying to open the post. The demands of Christmas are not yet here and there’s a three-month window to save money.
Setting up a direct debit to a savings account is something I’ve been meaning to do for years — and finally it’s done.
The other thorny issue people choose to tackle is their love life. ‘Dating websites see a definite peak at the end of August and beginning of September,’ says Paula Hall from dating site Parship.co.uk.
‘During the summer, it seems like there are couples everywhere, canoodling in the park, holding hands on the street, and it can be a really hard time for single people,’ says Paula. ‘Holidays might heighten awareness of being single, too. Then there are the summer weddings.’
The good news is that our dreams of finding love, getting a new job and losing weight are much more likely to be achieved than they would be in the New Year, according to psychologists. ‘September resolutions stand a better chance of being fulfilled than New Year ones,’ says Linda Blair. ‘In January, you’re depleted in every way. And what lies ahead to motivate you? Dark, cold days.
‘Contrast this with September. You’ve had a lovely relaxing holiday and feel optimistic. The weather is better, so your immune system is boosted and endorphins are more freely available.’
But before you take rash action, career adviser Hannah McNamara says it’s important to be realistic about the changes we all want from our lives: ‘I don’t find people have unrealistic expectations, but they do have unrealistic deadlines.
‘A client I coached a couple of years ago came to me to secure her next role, but when I asked her what she wanted to do, she said “run a B&B”, so we established a time frame for that — about 15 years’ time — and then we worked out how her jobs in the meantime would prepare her for running her own business.’
So if my friend Lucy really wants to run a hotel, she needs a ten-year plan — not a ten-minute dream. I told her this and she made a face. ‘Maybe I’ll just learn Italian instead,’ she said.
Our summer holidays tap into the fact that we want to make our lives better, but sometimes making little changes — like learning a new skill or catching up with friends once a week — is all we need. The trick is to follow through on these things, to not lose enthusiasm when our tans fade.
My goals of meditating, doing charity work and losing a stone have probably been on my ‘to-do’ list since 1990. They haven’t been crossed off because I get so excited about thoughts of the fabulous new me that I get tired and need to go for a rest.
Instead, I should ditch my 32-point wish list, take one resolution at a time and stick to it.
‘Don’t try to make too many changes. Pick one goal at a time and stick with it for six weeks, which is the amount of time needed to establish a habit,’ says Linda Blair. ‘Don’t give up after two or three weeks. Set quantifiable goals. So instead of saying “I want to lose weight”, try saying: “I want to lose 2lb a week for the next six weeks.” ’
So which to do first? Sort out my teeth? My finances? My wardrobe? I think I’ll start with meditation. I’m going to do 20 minutes a day for the next week and take it from there. Who knows, it might just be life-changing.
And the important part, says Linda, is to pat yourself on the back for even wanting to make resolutions.
‘It’s wonderful that our identities are always evolving, that’s we’re always trying to improve ourselves. Resolutions are a tribute to human optimism,’ she says.
Indeed. Blind optimism, perhaps, but optimism none the less. This is going to be my year, I’m sure of it . . .
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