Sunday 2 October 2011

Leaving children home alone? Consider maturity, safety

By Heidi Knapp Rinella
Child-education experts say that at 8 years old, some kids are mature enough to let themselves into their homes after school and spend the afternoon alone. Confronted with that fact, Mike O'Day looked incredulous.
"I think that's too young," said O'Day, who was picking up his 10-year-old daughter, Devon, from the Safekey after-school program at Treem Elementary School in Henderson. "She would never stay home by herself. Her older sister was in Safekey until eighth grade."
Given the same information, Anela Kaheaku didn't even stop to consider before starting to shake her head.
"No," said Kaheaku, who was picking up her 10-year-old son, Drake, from Treem Safekey. "No."
It's an issue that confronts every parent when a child reaches late elementary school and starts the familiar lament: "I'm not a baby. I can go home by myself."
And in some cases, that is true for kids as young as 8.
"At 8, they get the reasoning they need to problem-solve," said Julie Waterhouse, elementary counselor specialist for the Clark County School District.
But, Waterhouse said, the latchkey issue is awash with caveats.
"It does depend on the child and the parent," Waterhouse said -- "how the parent sets up the situation." And, "You wouldn't want to leave every 8-year-old alone."
For one thing, she said, many kids are afraid to be on their own.
"If a child feels like they're OK to stay alone, it's a good indicator," she said.
"You have to evaluate and assess your child," said Arlene Hummel, coordinator of the district's Safe and Drug-Free Schools Program. "Do they feel comfortable? Are they fairly responsible?"
It's important, both women noted, that children not be thrown into a latchkey situation; they suggest practicing by leaving them alone for an hour or two on a weekend. And it's vital, they added, that parents stay in touch with their children's feelings to ensure the situation is a positive one.
"The parent is key," Hummel said. "What kind of structure does the parent need to put in place for the children?"
That, she said, includes safety measures, such as a temporary ban on using the Internet. The parent needs to communicate expectations about the child completing his or her homework and household chores. And there should be weekly meetings with the child to see how things are going.
"The parent needs to be educated to warning signs that they aren't doing well," Hummel said. "Not sleeping, nightmares, not doing well at school." ParentLink provides a means of checking homework progress, she said.
"The parent has to be involved," Hummel said. "The kid may say they're fine, but signs may prove otherwise."
And Waterhouse said that if parents are trusting a child to take on some degree of independence when the parents aren't home, they should trust them to do the same when they are home.
"It builds confidence and gives the parent a chance to see if they're not making the right decisions," she said.
A good indicator of a child's maturity, Hummel said, is if he or she follows rules when the parent is home, including doing chores and homework as assigned.
She added that a child younger than 10 should not be expected to oversee a younger sibling.
"You do not want to parentify any child," she said.
It's important, Waterhouse said, to be honest with the school if a child is going to be going home alone, so the school can watch for such issues as behavioral changes.
And Hummel noted that a child who is following safety rules -- typically, he or she can't go out to play, have anyone in the house, or go on the Internet, including Facebook -- can develop a sense of isolation.
"They need to have opportunities to play and have their friends over," she said. "You don't want them to have too much responsibility. That does matter in their own development."
Which is a point Kaheaku clearly understands. When Drake is at Safekey, she said, "there's adult supervision if something goes wrong." Plus, "he gets interaction with kids."
The various before- and after-school Safekey programs in Clark County are run by municipal parks and recreation departments with the cooperation of the school district. Kim Becker, a spokeswoman for the city of Henderson, said Safekey is available in the city's 25 elementary schools, with Teen Scene in seven middle schools. On a daily basis, the programs involve 1,600 elementary students and 75 middle-schoolers, she said. Some attend on an as-needed basis, as opposed to daily; she noted that the program can involve 3,000 to 4,000 children during the course of the school year.
Exact hours depend on a school's bell time, beginning at 6:45 or 7 a.m. until school starts, and school dismissal until 6 p.m. -- or 6:30, for $10 a week extra, if needed. The average fee is $35 per week for one child in the after-school program or $58 for two siblings, with further discounts for more siblings.
Becker said the elementary schools, in particular, have fitness programs, with outdoor activities in good weather.
"Even in play, a lot of the children were getting winded," she said. "We also were seeing overweight children. This program gets them out and about with game-type activities. Within a month, you can see that they've built up their stamina. And we keep track of how many pounds they've lost."
Sara Abdelrahman, supervisor of the Safekey program at Treem, said the roster differs daily, averaging about 35. The children participate in a variety of activities, including snack time, homework time, scheduled activity and time outside. The popularity of the activities differs by the school, she said, arts and crafts tends to reign supreme at Treem, where the kids were fashioning pipe-cleaner creations on a recent afternoon.
"Every kid is different," she said, "but they really like arts and crafts. They went a little crazy with the pipe cleaners."
Ed Jost, division manager of parks, recreation and neighborhood services for the city of Las Vegas, said Safekey programs are in 68 elementary schools in the city -- like in Henderson, in all or virtually all of them. Last year, he said, 9,137 children were enrolled, with total attendance of 516,000. The daily average is 2,800.
The fee, Jost said, depends on hours used, with afternoons running $35 to $41 a week. Multi-children discounts aren't available, but scholarships for as much as 75 percent of the fee are.
Something Jost said he's particularly excited about this year is that the program got a grant through the Southern Nevada Health District that incorporates physical fitness, health awareness and education, lifestyles awareness and good nutrition.
Las Vegas' Safekey program incorporates "some homework stuff, coloring and arts and crafts -- and a lot of physical activity is what we're emphasizing this year to try to combat the childhood-obesity issues," Jost said. The health district-funded program "comes with everything you need -- fun stuff the kids enjoy doing. They used to come in, sit down and watch a movie," he added.
Jost said the city's after-school recreation programs extend through middle and high school; the high-school programs have youth councils that plan activities and trips.
"We really encourage kids to get involved in that, because it's very much kids-led," he said. "The lone thing we know from all the research is if the kid is busy with a positive activity after school, they're a lot less likely to get into trouble and get into mischief. We try to channel them into positive things."
Henderson has programs at its recreation centers as well, and Devon O'Day is champing at the bit to join one, but Dad's not in agreement because he likes Safekey's structure.
"I'd save a little money," he said. "But the peace of mind is worth it."
Contact reporter Heidi Knapp Rinella at hrinella@ reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0474.
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