And when those Kippers finally strike out on their own and find keeping house all too costly, they have a tendency to return home and snuggle back under the parental wing.
Most young people don’t burden their parents by choice; it’s just that they can’t afford the luxury of independence. Rents and house prices - despite the downturn – are still prohibitively high; and many have a HECS debt to service as well.
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But moving back in with the parents tends to restrict everyone’s freedom, creating ongoing domestic conflict and endless arguments about money.Moving in with granny or grandad, however, can be a surprisingly workable solution. Grandparents tend to be more tolerant, perhaps because they’re at a two-generational remove from the grandkids; so there’s often less friction between them, than between young adults and their parents.
Also, seniors often don’t have the financial constraints of parents who are still paying mortgages and raising younger kids. And if they’re living alone, they can please themselves and may be glad of the company.
It’s an arrangement that offers many practical benefits. It’s cheaper to maintain one household than two, and having someone to help with bills and maintenance means older people can stay in their own home; and frailer seniors will have a greater sense of security with a family member around.
At the same time, younger people can make crucial savings while they’re struggling to find a job, to establish a career, or to pay for their first car. Above all, both parties will feel less isolated knowing there’s someone in the house who loves them and will support them, because they’re family.
Marcia Brown’s parental nest has been empty for many years, but a second generation nestling is about to come home to roost. Marcia’s 21-year old granddaughter, Danielle, is moving in with her, rather than back to the home which she shared with her parents and four brothers and sisters. Marcia is thrilled and says they’ll both really benefit from the move.
“I can’t wait. We’ll be company for each other, because there’s love there, absolute love,” Marcia says. “I want to help Danielle as much as I can, so I won’t charge her board. I’ll supply the food. She’ll just pay for whatever power she uses – any increase in my normal electricity, gas and water bills.”
Marcia works in the community on a voluntary basis and rarely has an idle moment, but she’s happy to do most of the cooking and housework when her granddaughter moves in.
“I’m going to cook for her, and I’m going to adore it,” she says. “Danielle’s such a nice person, I won’t have to tell her to do the cleaning; she’d do it, but I won’t take advantage of that. She can cook for me one night a week, but I’m never home and she works long hours. I can’t wait to put a meal in front of her when she gets home.”
Marcia has no reservations about the cross-generational living experiment.
“Danielle will be surprised at just how well it’ll work,” she says, “Because I’ll bend over backwards to make it work. When she went to Adelaide to live for a while, I told her there would always be a bed at my place, so she had choices. I think everyone needs to know they have choices.
“Living with me will give her the best chance of making the most of her opportunities. She’s a mature young lady and she’s got a goal in mind – she wants to save for a deposit on a house, and I’m happy to help her achieve it. The money she’s paying for rent is dead money. She can save that; she’s a good saver.”
Marcia is prepared to offer the same opportunity to all her grandchildren.
“I’ve got four bedrooms and I only use one, and Danielle will have her own bathroom. Also, I see my house as a family house. I bought it as an investment, but I want to see it used. I expect my other, younger grandchildren to so the same thing. This is about relationships. I want all my grandkids to achieve their dreams.”
Apart from looking forward to the company, Marcia says being able to depend on Danielle will give her peace of mind.
“I’ll be happy to leave the house with her when I go away,” she says, “I’ll know it’ll be safe. That’s a good benefit for me – it gives me more freedom.”
Danielle is also very conscious of the benefits of moving in with her grandmother, a move she says was prompted by the difficulties of paying rent and bills.
“I was going to move back home with Mum, but there’s not enough room, so I asked Nan if I could move in with here. I know Nan’s there all alone,” Danielle says. “I don’t to see Nan that often at the moment; this way we’ll get to see more of each other, which is good.
She anticipates no problems with the move. “I’m just dreading unpacking everything,” she says, “I have a bedroom full of stuff. I think it’ll be a bit similar to living at home, so I’m not worried. I work all week and sometimes at weekends too, and I haven’t being going out much. “I’m also looking forward to saving some money.”
As for cooking for Nan? “I’m not sure – maybe, sometimes,” she says.
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