By Edmonton Journal
Stay-at-home adults are the new norm and in some ways a growing concern for their baby-boomer parents.
Ever more escalating numbers of 20-somethings are double-knotting the apron strings and choosing to lunch rather than launch; taking up space (and hot water) in the family home much longer than the previous generation.
Statistics Canada says 51 per cent of Canadians aged 20-to-29 are still bunking in their childhood bedrooms, double the number 25 years ago when the Internet and flat screens didn't influence the equation.
Back then, the accepted routes to independence were practically etched in a stone map: graduate from high school; proceed directly to a post-secondary institution and live in residence or spend one year on a full-time job while paying rent at home; save up enough money to move out; move out; visit occasion-ally; get married; have kids; visit occasionally.
But this erratic global economy bears no resemblance to its more regional and generous predecessor of yore, so the deal has changed.
If there is no way to lure junior to the end of the driveway prior to age 30, and/or if career prospects aren't what parents remember, then the new normal should call for a re-worked social contract that spells out the rights and responsibilities of two (and sometimes three) generations living under one roof. And speaking of contracts, drawing some terms up adult-to-adult could go a long way to fending off the rise in conflict that studies show is the most damaging product of the extended stay.
On the plus side, relationships between parents and maturing, stay-at-home children can become more in-depth and satisfying. And if junior buys the pizza and beer every now and then, even better.
Filmmakers Maria LeRose and Sharon Bartlett dove headlong into the subject of twentysomething children who come back to live at home for the documentary Generation Boomerang, which aired on CBC earlier this month. LeRose told the Toronto Star she was most surprised to find out that baby boomers who fled the nest a.s.a.p. in the 1980s and returned only to visit are actually the historical exception, not the rule. Bartlett said outward mobility was a product of the times and so too is this generation's hesitancy to depart, and willingness to return.
"We weren't better equipped," said Bartlett, who is 63. "We just lucked out. You could get a good job at 18, 19, 20, so you could leave home and make a good life."
But it's likely more than a want for money that has 20-somethings in the kitchen flipping pancakes when they ought to be out in the big wide world flapping their wings. Some seem to take longer to echo their parents' desire for a substantive career when a series of part-time jobs will pay the iPhone bill just as well, without all that time-consuming and yes, hideously expensive, education.
Some do not appear to crave the independence that comes with living on their own because a whop-ping measure of it has been provided by relaxed social mores. Yes, sadly, young adult sleepovers are de rigueur.
What will the fear-of-flying trend do to the new generation? Sociologists have their opinions, but not a wealth of relevant data. It could be that young adults all over the world are shucking adversity en masse, educated and bound together as they are by social media. Hey, if it's working for your Facebook friends in Europe, why not Occupy the Basement in Alberta?
But that would speak ill of their willingness to be accountable in the future and filmmaker Bartlett said these kids comprise the smartest, most socially conscious generation to come along yet, so the world is in good hands.
Boomers certainly have opinions, and since their names are on the mortgage, the impact on their lives shouldn't be lost in the shuffle. The fact is, middle-aged parents with their eyes on the traditional prize - a solid decade of peace and quiet interrupted now and then by a holiday visit from the grandkids - are struggling with the uncomfortable realization that their golden years have been hijacked and 60 is the new 50. Of course they could still get the last laugh - by changing the locks, flying to Mexico and spending the inheritance.
Friday, 25 November 2011
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