Tell son your home is parents-only zone

By: Miss Lonelyhearts

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My three kids have all moved out in the last five years and each one felt like a loss. Then my husband and I started travelling and going out with friends for dinners and taking dance lessons and having a lot of fun together. This spring we're going to buy two motorcycles. The best thing has been the total privacy we regained. But, this week we found out our middle son wants to move home "to save money for university in the fall" -- which he failed at miserably before. When my husband and I talked about it, both of us realized we don't want to go back to being parents in a house with a grown kid who is quite lazy and has never worked at a full-time job in his life. What do you suggest? -- Resisting the Idea, Winnipeg
Dear Resisting: Put it to your son this way. "Last time you flunked out and this time you're serious. Prove to yourself how serious you are by getting two part-time jobs and making enough money to go to school. Your dad and I want you to continue to grow up, but taking you back into your old bedroom will slow that process down. We tend to spoil you. Besides your dad and I are having a lot of fun living together like newlyweds again." That should make his face turn red and stop the conversation in its tracks. Just smile and say, "That's how we got you, you know."
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I stayed home playing sick two weeks ago while my husband went to work. I met my neighbour in the hall when I was getting the mail in my housecoat and he teased me about that. We got to talking and he said he was feeling a bit lonely in the grey November weather, so I told him I was faking being sick and invited him in for lunch and a chat. (He went home while I got changed.)He's about 10 years younger than I am. He's a bartender and he walked over to the bar in my apartment and said, "Let me make you a special drink." Well one little drinkie led to another and we ended up putting on sexy music, closing the curtains, and dancing and one thing led to another. We ended up finally doing the wild thang in the living room. When my husband came home I was in bed playing sick again; he made me dinner because he felt so sorry for me. I should have felt guilty, but I didn't. The problem is: I want more. I can't help it. My body wants what it wants. I find myself wanting to knock on my neighbour's door on the weekend when my husband goes out. I see his truck in the parking lot and I know he's home. HELP! -- Craving My Other Man, Osborne Village
Dear Craving: Yes, your fling may be home -- and with another lady, for all you know. You're married, but he's not. You have all those days and nights with your husband and he doesn't. He's lonely and looking for company more than once every few weeks. If you're bored, there's a chance your husband is bored too. What's the chance he's flirting outside the marriage too? What if you lost him? The point is to figure out what you can do to get back to that excited feeling of not knowing what's going to happen next in your sexual adventures together. You don't need to come up with all this creativity yourself. Check book stores and online sites for titles like 101 Nights of GRRReat Sex by Laura Corn or 1001 Sexcapades to Do If You Dare by Bobbi Dempsey and you'll get big ideas. Ask your husband to read the books, too, and tick off the adventures that look like fun to him. You might be quite surprised at what's on his list.

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