Could there be a cheap gene in the cheapsters’ DNA? Or is it because they grew up extremely poor or perhaps because of their forebears’ frugal examples?
Maybe it’s the result of some attitude-changing personal experience that pushed them in that direction? Or did they see being cheap as the path to reaching certain goals?
So I decided to ask the question “Why are you cheap?” to the winners of my most recent Cheapest of the Cheap contest and their guests, to see if I could find out. (Some of their answers were condensed for space.)
First place (dinner for two at the Palm): Bruce Kent of Nolensville. He says his cheapness is rooted in a bad experience he had as an 8-year-old in Johnstown, Pa.
“That day, a woman said something so hurtful, so shaming, that I was crushed. Truth be told, if I knew who she was, or even if she was still alive, I would thank her … because her words changed my life. Back in 1971, I was the son of a single parent, living on welfare and food stamps. While my mother would soon remarry, at this point without public assistance we could not have survived. One evening, my mother gave me a shopping list, some food stamps, and asked me to walk to the grocery store a block away. After getting to the store, I started at the top of the list and saw that there were five items listed, as well as another at the bottom that really caught my eye. The last item said, “Choose something special for you.” I quickly found the items on the list and then chose my ‘special item,’ which turned out to be a bag of Doritos.
“When it was my turn, I put my items on the belt and took the food stamps from my pocket. There was an older woman behind me. She saw the food stamps, grunted, and then in a very loud voice said, ‘Look everyone, look what the boy is buying with our money — snacks. Do you want to buy some other junk with our money?’ I was embarrassed, ashamed and wanted to be anywhere but there.
“Yes, I cried all of the way home, but when I got there (I didn’t tell my mother), I went into my room and made a vow to myself that I would never put my children in that position … and I haven’t.
“I have been very blessed, and while today I can afford to do most of the things that I want to do, I am still cheap. I learned if you don’t waste money, you always have plenty, no matter how little or how much you make. I truly believe that working hard and being cheap go hand in hand. You tend not to waste what you work hard to obtain, but can easily waste what is not a product of your sweat.”
Second Place ($100 gift certificate to The Clearing House Consignment store): Lisa Camp of Smyrna. She says “being cheap is my job” — and the reason she is able to be a stay-at-home mom to her three children. “It was hard to leave a two-income lifestyle,’’ she says, noting that she is able to make it work by couponing, consulting websites, making things last longer and always looking for deals.
“If I want to continue to stay home, I have to work hard to make the money go further and do more. Now, we eat out as a family of five for less than we did as a couple with two incomes. We don’t miss cable TV (who needs it with Hulu?). Videos are free at the library. Food doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. Holidays and birthdays are fun but simple. And we believe that if we give freely, God will not let us want for anything we really need. Money doesn’t grow on trees, but being cheap doesn’t mean being stingy; it actually allows us to be more generous!
“Why am I cheap? Because I love being ‘Mommy’ too much to not be.”
Third place ($50 gift certificate to Designer Finds consignment shop): Donna Morin of Franklin. Donna says money was tight in her household as she was growing up, and while some childhood memories (such as tension, arguments and her parents eventual divorce) are not so fond, “those experiences made me a more frugal person.
“Once I reached adulthood and started working, saving and investing, I figured out that what happened to my parents wasn’t necessarily because of the circumstances that they found themselves in, but due to their lack of planning for the inevitable bad things that happen in everyone’s life. I think the most important lesson I learned was to live below my means when times were good, so that I wouldn’t have to suffer or go into debt when times weren’t so good,” says Donna, who says she lives modestly: buying a nice house, but not the biggest on the block, and taking vacations, but staying in moderate accommodations instead of going the luxury route.
“When I hear people say they wish they could afford to take vacations, or move to a better neighborhood, or pay off their credit cards, I’d like to ask them where their money goes. My guess is most of them don’t know. I wonder how many of these people buy overpriced vending machine sodas at work instead of drinking free water from the fountain, or have the latest smartphone while I make do with a free cell phone with a prepaid plan, or buy a new car every few years while I get around in my 10-year-old compact car with over 100,000 miles.
“Most people think financial security is about how much you earn when it’s really about how much you spend and save. It’s a lot easier to save a buck than to earn one. To me, being cheap is about saving money on the things I want, so I’ll have enough for the things I need. It’s about delaying some gratification now, so I can enjoy greater satisfaction later. Most of all, it’s about living a rich life on a thrifty budget, so I’ll never be poor.”
Now for some excerpts from other great entries in this little contest:
Cris Pollard of Mt. Juliet says she’s found that “Being cheap by choice has led me to make more thoughtful choices about what I’m buying and to not just be a mindless consumer. Don’t get me wrong, I love bargains, but I don’t ever want to buy things we don’t need just because it’s cheap. Another reason that I am cheap is because it is so much fun. I am always amazed at what I can find out there. I truly enjoy the thrill of the hunt.”
Ashley Wiles
of Cottontown says that going from two incomes to one when their first son was born started her and her husband on the road to cheapness. But there’s more. “It is important for us to serve others with our time, talents and the resources God has given us. Although we choose to live cheaply, we don’t want to be cheap when it comes to our giving. We want to tithe at our church, donate to charities or causes that are meaningful to us, practice hospitality and be a help to anyone in need who may cross our paths. By living cheaply, we have more resources available to use in service.”
Plus, she says she and her husband “enjoy the challenge.”
“We have a $175/month budget for food, diapers and household supplies. It could be pretty easy to despair at such a tight budget, but it’s a game to see how little I can pay at the store by combining sales and coupons, or how full we can get our freezer with the vegetables we’ve grown in our garden.”
Angela Folds Fox
of Franklin says she “was cheap way before cheap was cool.”
It started with her parents’ examples and then became a strategy for her as a teenager when she had to stretch a “miserly clothing allowance.”
“As a 20-something, I was thrifty because I was paying my way through grad school,” she says.
As a 30-something, “I’m thrifty because it works! My husband and I choose to be cheap so that we can sustain a lifestyle that allows me to stay home with our children and still have room at the end of the paycheck for charitable giving.”
She also likes to set a good frugal example for her sons: “I certainly hope they’ll grow to understand that you are NOT the phone you use or the car you drive or the gaming system you own. You are more than all of those things!”
Barbara Welch
of Kingston Springs says once she became an adult, she realized what valuable lessons her parents had taught her: “a strong work ethic, frugality, patience, persistence and gratitude. I taught my husband how to be cheap and we have been completely debt-free since our early 40s. We have passed these lessons down to our children, who are adults in their 30s and are debt-free. Some people mistakenly believe cheapness is synonymous with stinginess, but it is actually about getting the most for your money so that you have more to share with others. With no mortgage, no car payments, no credit card bills and a fully funded retirement plan, emergency fund and car fund, we enjoy giving money and cars away to our church and to the needy.”
Sylvia Crabtree of White House says her mother was her chief cheap influence. “She was left with three children to raise, so not being cheap was not an option. Her philosophy was simple: Take care of the needs first and if there is anything left over, take care of your wants. Her favorite saying was ‘the way you manage your money is much more important than the amount of money you make.’
“We learned at a young age to find pleasure in simple things. When we are happy with what we have, we are not so tempted to buy ‘things’ we believe will fulfill us. There is not enough ‘stuff’ in the world to satisfy a person who is constantly looking for more. A cheap lifestyle, appreciating all we have, can bring the most priceless gift of all — peace of mind.”
Vicki Brown
of Old Hickory says: “To me, money is a game. I see how much I can save on everything I do. It can be eating out, buying a computer or a vacation. I get a deal or I don’t do it. I also believe in Money Karma. Money Karma is sharing. I often pay for the person’s food behind me in the drive-through at McDonald’s. I give to the homeless. I find when I do Money Karma, within a week, it all comes back to me. Plus, I feel great knowing I am helping someone.
Mark Morin
of Franklin says, “Some people associate the word ‘cheap’ with the adjectives like miserly, tight and stingy. I prefer to associate cheap with some of its other adjectives, like economical, reasonable and worth the money. This makes it easier to be called ‘cheap.’ It is easy for me to be cheap because for many years, I couldn’t afford to be called anything else. I was raised in a small house with two parents, two brothers and two sisters. We had one bathroom … for all seven of us to share,’’ he says, noting that he and his siblings had very little in the way of wardrobe or possessions and all worked doing jobs such as delivering newspapers in his hometown. “In the end, I don’t regret any of the lessons I learned in my childhood, because they’ve not only helped me appreciate everything I now have, but they taught me about saving money for what’s most important in my life: education, a home and family.”
Julie Carter
of Antioch says she thinks “cheap is something that is learned or acquired over many years. You usually learn it from watching someone else or out of necessity. My reasons for being cheap were mainly out of necessity. I am a single parent of two boys and a girl. We have never done without things we really needed and have been able to afford many extras along the way just by watching for sales, using coupons and paying cash. I rarely go a day without getting some type of deal or discount, and I am teaching my children to do the same thing. If you want to be an awesome cheapster, there is no place for laziness. Being a frugalista is almost like a part-time job, but it definitely pays off. My daughter often tells me that I am cheap and I just smile and say, ‘Thank you.’ ”
Lisa Harless
of Nashville worked as a teenager babysitting and doing odd jobs and even picking cotton to make money. “My parents and teachers instilled within me a strong work ethic. Knowing how hard-working and conscientious I am about earning a dollar, I then want to maximize that dollar when spending it! I want to get ‘bang for my hard-earned buck!’
“I have been a banker for 26 years, and my respect for the power of money has helped guide my personal financial life while helping others. I love to lead by example. There is tremendous freedom and peace that comes with building wealth and avoiding debt.
“By being thrifty, my husband and I can enjoy a life without a mortgage, car payments, credit card debt ... and have a nice nest egg for retirement. Since we are both members of large families and are blessed with a wonderful circle of friends, my love for bargains enables me to find ‘treasures’ perfect for all occasions — birthdays, Christmas, weddings, baby arrivals and graduations. Since ‘Aunt Lisa and Uncle Winston’ have 48 nieces, nephews and great-nieces and -nephews, we love stretching our dollars at gift-giving time.”
Carl “Butch” Bell of Bellevue says “according to Webster’s Standard Dictionary, cheap: adj. — inexpensive, of little value. The definition should also have pictures of both my grandmothers’ — K Gill & M. Bell — names next to it. Today, you Google the word ‘cheap’ and everything in the world pops up, including pictures of my grandmothers. Just kidding, but they should be listed. “
Source http://www.tennessean.com/
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